Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Cartoon 16: Holy Shit

Where do I start?  About two months ago, Daniel decided that he would no longer be traveling with us.  He now knows that he wants to dedicate his life to dance and he felt that he was not able to do that with us.  So we were down to two, my boyfriend Joaquín and I.  Then, about a month ago, Joaquín and I broke up.  Our relationship didn't stand up to all of the intensity and stress of our crazy dream.  This cartoon is basically all of the memories that are swimming around in my mind from the preparation for the trip and my time traveling with Daniel and Joaquín. And now we are down to one. Just me. Without any of the plan that I spent the last two years of my life creating with my partner and his good friend.  Wow.  Joaquín proposed that we continue to travel together as friends.  That sounds like emotional hell to me.  I will not sacrifice my emotional well being to be 'comfortable' in an old dream that, for me, was lost when the love was.

So wow, now I am in the middle of Mexico, in the middle of someone else's dream (my original dream was just to go Brazil and work with the social circus programs there. Then I met Joaquín and he invited me to travel by land with his collective and I said that sounds like a great adventure! Well, I was right). 
I do not dream of traveling on my own through Latin America.  Many people do, but not me.  I wanted and want to have a home base. To work and collaborate and live and learn with others.  So I'm thinking of everyone I've met in the last 6 months, who could I travel with?? I've come up with 4 options:
1. A group of 4 awesome Spanish women.  I met them in a Theater of the Oppressed workshop just before Joaquín and I broke up. They are super warm and excited to have me and God it would be fabulous to travel with women.  The only thing I'm not too excited about is that they are hitch hiking.  Hitch hiking is very different here, it's much more accepted and way less dangerous. But still I'm not to excited about the idea...
2. Farandula de la Esperanza: A couple who do social circus and are traveling down in a camper.  I have met them at two circus conventions and they do fabulous work. I've sent them an email but haven't heard back yet (http://faranduladelaesperanza.com/?lang=es)...
3.  America Latina Cooperativa: A group who is traveling through Central America doing social circus shows and workshops with the goal of strengthening the network of social organizations throughout Latin America. I met the aerial director at the first circus convention I went to and we got along great.  I emailed them as well but they don't seem too interested, we'll see what happens (http://www.alcoop.org/?lang=en <----- This one's in English)...
4.   Alone.  My best friend in Mexico City has contacts in pretty much every country throughout Central America.  I could ride buses from country to country and meet up with her contacts and then go to social circus organizations upon my arrival in each new city. 

So now it's the waiting game. Trying to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest while I send a million emails and try to put a new life together. Did I mention Wow? Life is crazy.  I never thought I'd be where I am and in two weeks I have no idea where I will be...


  1. oh, my. keeping you in my thoughts...hang in there girl! sending you a hug!

    1. Chica muchas gracias por tus palabras. Me dieron muchisima fuerza la verdad. Y sabes que? Ahora estoy entendiendo algo nuevo... Que mi miedo no es tanto de los peligros de viajar sola. Es mas un miedo de que yo reaccionaria de una manera que me pone en mas riesgo frente a un peligro. Y pues uno nunca puede saber como reaccionara no? Estoy trabajando para soltar esa preocupacion...Ya estoy aceptando que el parte de mi viaje en Sud America probablemente sera uno mas individuo y me siento bien con eso. Gracias por ser una de las mujeres bellas que me ayudan a revolucionar!

  2. Vaaaaya!! La vida es asombrosa. Mucho ànimo, Sara! Ya imagino que estaràs con el corazòn en un puño pero confìa en ti y en la vida, que es generosa. Veràs como te pasan cosas maravillosas. Yo he viajado sola durante casi 11 meses y la experiencia ha sido increible. Conocì gente muy linda, vivì momentos hermosos y aprendì muchas cosas. Tambièn pasè dìas y semanas difìciles, de dudas y a veces de soledad, pero de todo se aprende, y en cada momento bajo, sucedieron cosas que me devolvieron el ànimo. Te mando un abrazo muy fuerte ya desde España

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  3. ¡¡¡¡Hola Sara como estas soy Carlos Luna espero te acuerdes de mi ja!!! (el chico del cafe en el q comist el martes )
    ¡wow estuve checando tus caricaturas y me fascinaron!
    ojala podamos seguir en contacto me encantaría saber mas de ti. :)
    PD :: Espero tu respuesta.

  4. I have endless faith in you Sara and know that you will figure out what to do. Stay positive!!!! =o)

  5. Hi Sara! I am sending you love. One thing that I have learned from years of trials and tribulations are that things work themselves out somehow someway and never in the way that you think it will. You are a pure heart that brings good things to you. Calm your mind and dream of the best case scenario and decide that is what you want these opportunities to come out of the woodwork. Enjoy this moment. Here and now. Peace.