Thursday, July 25, 2013

Cartoon 44: Coming home after 2 years, 11 countries, 35 organizations, a million transformations.

My forehead leaned against the window, I watched the lights of Rio de Janeiro fade into an unfocused yellow glow and then into black as the dark clouds of the night came between me and the earth.  
This is the end of a two year love story with a passionate, warm and sometimes more than slight machista.  Full of contradictions, anger and corruption.  Present focused, rebellious and romantic.  Tie-dyed with the colors of a million rich traditions and deeply moved by culture and art.  Wandering through the corridors of her mind changed mine.  Her stories made me laugh, cry, clinch my fists and raise my eye brows up so high they kissed my hairline.  As I left, she smiled like almost always and assured me 'I will be with you always',  her words a challenge to live out her lessons of resistance and celebration, dance and music as liberation. 

I closed my eyes and then opened them again to watch the sunrise over my homeland's skies.  My ears were filled with the chatter of momentary traveling companions sharing stories in the thick delicious accents of the Southern U.S.A.  My heart filled with so many emotions, my body began to relax, and my lips started flappin' forming familiar phrases and smiles of fraternity with my countrymen and women.  I felt as if I was speaking a language that I didn't know I knew.

And then a wave of fear, 'What did I just do??? I will never be whole again! I will always be stuck between worlds with pieces of my heart planted all over the Americas!' A wave of hope and peace came... May these pieces prove resilient and offer lasting fruits to my family who I have left behind in each place.  What an amazing thing to discover that my family is not as small as I thought it was. That in fact I have brothers and sisters all over the world just waiting to make magic as our paths cross again or for the first time.  
 Again I began to contract, wondering who I am, wondering how returning to my home city will be and how I will fit in. I fight for the willingness and celebration of the unknown that I've practiced so much in the last few years.

I breathed and tried to release and trust, letting my wise body and open heart into the driver's seat.
My body memory took over again and delighted me with her ease in communication.  'I'm actually understanding everything that is going on ha!!', I thought.  I felt the plane jiggle and jolt and soon my toes tickled the hot asphalt of ATL.  

Beautiful green glittering leaves on fluffy full tress.

Sweet smells of honey suckle and magnolia carried on the warm humid breeze. 

Giggles and squeals of my family coming to embrace me.  

I am home now. And now I know I always was home, I just didn't know it yet.