Sunday, December 30, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Cartoon 33: Still Thinking About Body Hair
Friday, November 30, 2012
Cartoon 32: Alien Encounter
From Leticia, Colombia to Pucallpa, Peru, I traveled for about 9 days on a series of boats down the Amazon River. I think this was the most disgusting experience of my life. I hope to share my honest experience while being respectful and expressing my deep appreciation for the people who work and consistantly travel on these boats. They were my famlily for those days which for me, were a real test. They helped me keep laughing and playing. They shared their stories and experiences and taught me to find an inner calm that I coundn't imagine was possible.
But dang ya´ll this ish was narsty. (Translation: Man, this boat was gross!) Not all the boats are like this but the one we 200 strangers were stuffed on one that was built for 100. It was soooooo stinky that when I came off of it and got to my destination a week later, my new students asked me why I smelled like dead fish! The bathroom and the shower were one and the same so all the surfaces were covered in brown wet goo, origin unknown. Everything was covered in the feathers of the chickens who were dismembered daily on the deck in front of our very eyes and then thrown into a pot to feed us. We slept in hammocks so close together that swinging had to be a boat-wide coordinated effort. There was a family that slept under my hammock because their was no other space. The walls were covered with drying clothes because the women of the boat did laundry and washed their babies daily in the 3 bathroom sinks. It felt like being trapped inside of a vibrating tuna can because the old old motor made the entire boat shake uncontrolably. And it was so HOT that I left puddles anywhere I sat down. I don't mean to be negative, in fact as I write this I'm sitting here laughing at myself, poor little gringa girl who thinks she's hard staring at the ceiling at night completely overwhelmed by the other realities of the world.
All that said, I hope that ya'll can feel why the following story is so important to me. On day three, a man came up to me as I was taking air on the front deck. I had just seen a toddler taking a poo in a corner and I sprinted out front to try not to vomit. I think he noticed my upset and he said 'Hey girl, draw a squiggle.', and handed me a piece of paper. I did and gave him the paper back. In under a minute the paper was back in my hand again and the man had turned my squiggle into a super funny expressive cartoon character's face. 'Wow!' I said, 'Let me try!' and thats how it all started. The man was the nightwatchman on the ship. He spent the dark hours on top of the boat watching out for river pirates. And from that point on, I spent the first hours of every night at his side. His name was Roman and it turns out that he had always dreamed of being a story teller and cartoonist. He showed me notebooks filled with characters that he had drawn in the wee hours of the morning while the passengers slept swaying slightly to delicate waves of the Amazon. His favorite character to draw was an alien named Tito. Every night, he would tell me a different story about what happened when the character that I draw meets Tito. Below you will find my favorite one...
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Cartoon 31: A Light One
Friday, September 21, 2012
Cartoon 30: Be Careful, Not Afraid
I headed
out to Colombia on my own about 2 and a half months ago and to be
honest I was scared silly. I said to myself, "I could eat bad food or
get bitten by a huge bug and get sick and die!! What if I get robbed?? I
could get kidnapped!" I was so scared to be the only one responsible
for deciding what to do in an emergency situation.
I can now officially say that I have eaten bad food that made me sick and I got better. I have been bitten by so many bugs that my legs match my favorite polka dot dress and I haven´t died yet. My good friend was robbed and said it was the best thing that ever happened to her cuz she doesn´t have to deal with so much STUFF anymore. And I was even kidnapped in Medellin! A guy was borrowing his friends taxi to drive himself home and he saw my friend and I looking for a cab. He thought we were cute so he decided to pick us up. About five minutes into the ride he confessed that he was not actually a cab driver and that he had no idea how to get to where we wanted to go. My heart stopped in my chest. My friend spoke up fast saying, "Hahahaha you´re so funny, well why don´t you come get drinks with us?" (Her idea was to get us out of the car as soon as possible without causing the guy to escalate.) He agreed and we went to a bar. After hanging out for a while he turned out to be a very nice kidnapper. Just a normal guy with a really wierd way of picking up girls...
So I was really scared when I left for Colombia. And fear is so powerful, after meeting so many people on this trip I would say that its got a pretty strong grip on most of us. The first thing that people tell me about the places I´m going to are the dangers. They tell me about all the bad things that could happen there. What´s up with that?
Fear is so powerful. In my vida, I have lived in fear of many things: being alone, getting sick, hurting myself, making a mistake, not knowing the right answer, not having what I need (money, companionship,_____). I have often lived my life trying to prevent these things from happening. I feel like life is teaching me that I can´t prevent them and once they do happen, they aren´t so bad. Traveling alone has opened me up to be cared for by so many people. Its taught me that we are a generous, loving, protective species and adios to the few that are lost and trying to take advantage of others.
When I first arrived to Colombia, I confessed to a friend my fears. I said, "Everywhere I go I find people who tell me there´s danger at every turn. ´Be afraid of this!´´Be afraid of that!´ they say. How could I not be afraid of this world??" And she said, "Do they say ´Be afraid.´or ´Be careful.´ Although I do believe that we need to start talking about the fabulous things in the world instead of the dangers, what my friend said was just the redirection I needed. The key is to be careful, full of care and attention in everything that I do. Trusting the wisdom of my actions helps me let go of the fear that breeds anxiety and inaction.
So thank you to Natalia and to life for teaching me to be comfortable as a lone cowgirl holdin´on to caution but throwin´fear to the wind.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Cartoon 29: Dancing Police
Monday, August 20, 2012
Cartoon 28: Old Baggage, New Tools
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Cartoon 27: Rest in this WildLife
One of my favorite things to do during my time with America Latina Cooperativa was to hang my head out of the window of the motorhome as we travel just letting the landscape wash over me. I could feel the stress of traveling, of learning so much so fast, of meeting so many people with incredible and intense stories and of living a rather intense one myself wash away as my eyes glided over the awe inspiring lush lush nature of Mexico and Central America. In Mexico we met a caterpillar (pictured in the bottom right hand side of the drawing) that was unbelievable!! He was the size of an elongated hotdog with bright yellow and black strips and his belly was brilliant red-orange! As we drove down, I watched the incredible beauty fly by, taking in the deep deep greens and watching the flowering trees change from yellow to orange to red on our way toward Costa Rica. In Nicaragua we met these amazing trees that actually weren't trees but groups of vines that had surrounded a tree and taken it over leaving only the vines in the shape of a tree. Wow!
Now I have parted with the folks from America Latina Cooperativa. We became a family for three months of intense work, accompanying each other in every part of our lives. Sharing with folks in the different communities living incredible stories, seeing things that someone from where I´m from was never meant to see. As my gramma would say, what a priveledge. I read a great quote the other day, ´Life is not about finding ourselves, it´s about creating ourselves.´ This trip has continued to create me in a million new ways, and I just keep watching the rolling mountains that remind me that no matter what I´m going through, the capacity of life is just so so huge that the stress just isn´t that important. It´s time to go home for a Rest in this Wild Life...
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Cartoons 26.1, 26.2, 26.3: Things That Are Crazy Different in Latin America Thus Far
Cartoon 25: Inspiration
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Cartoon 24: Cultural Competency
Granada, Nicaragua. Working with kids down here is a different story coming from working with the tough cookies in L.A., the Bronx and Atlanta. I remember when Joaquín (from México) came to work with me in New York and was almost knocked flat by the force of the attitudes of those ten year olds. They knew how to strategize around getting anything they wanted and they were more decisive than I will probably ever be. They tested the inner strength of every single person who walked through the doors of their community center. You had to earn the right to teach them.
Down here, although kids often start working and doing 'grown up things' at a young age, somehow it seems like their childish, playful, open spirit remains intact.
This cartoon is of a first acrobatics lesson I did with a group. It was a lesson in cultural competency for me. I left them alone for free human pyramid building time and I almost had a heart attack when I saw the positions they had gotten themselves into. Three boys were doing a three-high (one standing on another's shoulders and then another on top of him!!)!! It was like they had no fear and they trusted each other right off the bat. I ran up freaked out like "Okay um okay that's great!! How creative you all are!!! Umm okay let's just get down now." To myself I'm thinking, 'How the health are they gonna get down????!' And they proceeded to calmly and easily help each other down to the ground. After this I was like, 'Light bulb! We do not need to practice teamwork and trust building here! Working as a team is much more often part of everyday life here. I imagine that all types of cultural factors play into this: bigger families, less resources, tighter knit communities, less value placed on individual achievement... Here we needed to focus on stuff like individual expression and forming and sharing personal opinions. Taking leadership!
I flashed back to my class of super vocal, willful individuals in the Bronx... How amazing would it be if these two groups could work together! I wish I could just smash the two classes together and, with good facilitation, watch the learning sparks fly...
Don't you just love how teaching is an endless source of education? Yeek!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Cartoon 23: Recycled House
San Pedro Sula, Honduras. This was the first place I ever saw a home made of things scavenged from the dump. It's inside of a whole neighborhood of houses like this. When we asked, this woman told us that her neighborhood is special because it is more peaceful than others. She does not lock her door against possible intruders, in fact she doesn't have a door.
The dump was just at the entrance to this community. I guess the neighborhood was formed close to avoid having to lug building materials and other useful things too far? People scavenged not only to build their homes but also to meet day to day needs. The first thing I saw as we pulled off of the main road was the little girl on the top left of the drawing bound through the piles of trash in a bright turquoise princess dress. I immediately flashed back to when I was a girl and wanted to wear my princess costume everywhere. I fought my mom to wear it out anywhere we went- to the grocery store, to school, to the park. I watched her and her friend play with a small cardboard box, filling it up and then dumping it out.
Mmmm I'm trying to think of what reflections I can share. The thing I thought most about after this experience is the odd fact that while I've never seen such poverty, I've also never experienced such generosity. During the whole trip, people with way less resources than I'm used to have opened up their homes to us strangers and trusted us entirely. They have fed us and opened up everything they have to us. I have never invited strangers into my house and shared not only my space but fed and given the keys to a stranger, much less nine strangers! I almost can't even imagine asking that where I'm from. It kinda seems like when people have more (including myself), they are less
open with what they have. And people who have less are often much more
generous and open. So I'm thinking about how I define the limits of my generosity. I'm asking myself, how often do I give something when it means that I will have to go without?
Monday, April 30, 2012
Cartoon 22: Peace and Love???
Apparently 'peace and love' is how folks in Nicaragua refer to hippies :). I've been busted again but I still maintain I'm not a hippie. We need to widen the categories for people living alternative lifestyles!
Anyway this kid poked his head into the window of the motorhome as we were preparing to do our social circus show in an urban community in Nicaragua. He said, "Oye, ustedes son 'peace and love' ?" Ha! Everybody burst into laughter thinking of all our bickering. Nine people of different cultures living, eating, working, sleeping and waking together in a motorhome ain't what I would call 'peace and love'.
Sometimes I feel like folks romanticize being a traveler. Like it's all peace and love and complete freedom from your everyday troubles. Many people say they wish they could drop everything and just go like we have. This is not a complaint but in my experience, it is freedom but only because it gives you more everyday problems. On the road we are constantly resolving what and where and how to eat, to get water, to sleep, which way to go, who to trust etc. so we don't have time or head space for the problems of a more stable life. I think its been quite healthy for me not to be comfortable enough to let my mind wonder into the problems or pleasures of the past and future. I really hope I can maintain this level of attention to the present moment in any lifestyle that I inhabit in the future.
One thing I can say about traveling is that it's freedom from certainty (the imagined certainty that we tend to invest so much in). I read this quote on a wall in a cultural center in San Jose, Costa Rica and I wanna share it with you guys:
"Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position. Certainty is an absurd one."
Right on. :)
Friday, April 13, 2012
Cartoon 21: The Salvadoran Guerrilla
We spent a week in San Antonio de los Ranchos, a community
that organized to form part of the guerrilla during the war in El
Salvador in the 80’s and 90’s.
Whoa, the stories. One
woman shared that during the war she was a lookout and a community organizer
helping protect the civilians that escaped to the mountains fleeing the
violence. She told us of one of
her many memories of the attempts of the military to extinguish the people in
resistance in the mountains.
She barely escaped by running through a rain of bullets to a nearby peak
only to watch the 16 remaining families massacred. Later, to reunite with the group who had gone in the other
direction, she had to walk through where the bodies of her loved ones still
laid. This woman is the one waving
in the picture above. She now
directs a social organization that plays a huge role in maintaining a unified
community through arts and education. (http://www.tnt.org.sv/ ENGLISH/DefaultTNT.php
)
The feeling of harmony, unity and safety in this community
made it stand out from others.
Folks there told me that this was because religious and community
leaders helped organize the people there before the war in resistance against
continual oppression by the government and elites supported by our US tax
dollars in form of military aid.
The human rights violations were so bad that many of the powerful
members of the church took to the mountains as well as part of the
guerrilla. In another community
that we visited, a man told us the story of how his family had to provide food
and shelter to both guerrilla and government at different times depending on
who was controlling the area. He
remembers a time when his grandmother fought with a guerrilla priest because he
burnt down a church. The priest
explained that in current circumstances, the holiness of the space had been
violated as it was being used as a military post.
I was told that the war ended when the guerrilla had gained
enough ground to negotiate with the government as equals. The peace agreement included the
formation of a political party comprised of members of the guerrilla, the
Frente Farabundo Marti de Liberación Nacional (FMLN). While we were in San Antonio de los Ranchos, it was election
time and a large part of the community organized to offer political education
and to get people to the polls. At the end of election day, there was a
huge community wide party in the main plaza to celebrate the victory of the
FMLN in their county.
For me it was incredible to see almost an entire community
organized around building the reality that they want for themselves. It made me think of how back at home we
are so separated, at least in middle class communities. The possibility of self-sufficiency
often leaves us living lives that are completely independent from our
neighbors. Too often in my life I've left
the government to do the work of deciding for me how our cities, states and
country run. I let them
decide by what rules I play.
I think that’s something that I want to do when I get back: dedicate
sometime to creating a community, city, state and a country that really
represent the values that I think are important.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Cartoon 20: Enemy of the State
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Cartoon 19: You Might Be a Hippie If...
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Cartoons 18: Shelter for Sons of the Beast
One of our first stops in the caravan was a shelter that was built close to the border between Mexico and Guatemala that was established as a refuge for sick or injured immigrants. "The Beast" has become the name of the cargo train upon which undocumented immigrants ride through Mexico on their way to the United States. (I originally thought that this train went through Central America so that's why the drawing shows it there.) The path of these people is incredibly violent. As
shown in the picture, the immigrants ride on top of the train. Many
loose their lives because, having traveled for long periods of time in
constant risk and without rest, they simply fall asleep and fall off the
train. One young man told me that he got caught up in the adrenaline of
the constant danger and began testing the limits jumping from train to
train. He lost his footing and lost his legs. A woman that I met told
me that woman who travel this path pray that rape is all that happens to
them...
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Cartoon 17: Sprouting Wings
On New Years I did a poorly planned meditation. It was 11:30pm and what I most wanted was to take off everything that I wasn’t born with, wrap myself in a white blanket and sit down in silence to perceive the coming of the New Year as a rebirth. A cleansing, a moment to honor that everything I need, I have. I couldn’t seem to find a quiet spot so at the last minute, I cumbersomely climbed out onto the metal roof of my house, just me and my white blanket.
I reached the top of the roof and got all comfy for my meditation. Just before I closed them, my eyes stumbled upon the metal roof, sloping downward at a rather steep angle. Crap, I thought, How the f am I going to get down. Images came to my mind of me loosing my balance and with it the blanket, sliding down the roof flailing, and landing in the driveway 15 feet down with no clothes on. Ha! Climbing up was so much easier, I had my eyes on the prize and wasn’t paying attention to how high up I was going. I giggled because this is exactly what I’m feeling like in my life right now. I’m on the cliff of this big dream I constructed with my x and now I don’t have any idea how to get down. That’s where my friend Jason comes in. I told him about my meditation experience and he said ‘Well maybe you’re not supposed to get down. Maybe you’re ‘sposed to sprout wings and fly off that mother!’
In the meditation, I managed to hunker down and let the worries go. I decided that at that moment, getting down wasn’t important, this was the moment to just be with the world up there. With my unfocused, soft gaze I was able to enjoy the fire works of all of the city. Looking at nothing in particular allowed me to perceive it with all of my senses. The laughs and excitement of my neighbors, the sparklers of the kids across the street and the big blasts of the downtown fireworks show. Eventually, I had to get down so I decided to let go of perfect blanket coverage and throw it over my back while I very very carefully scaled down the roof backward. Luckily I made it safe and sound and no one was the wiser :)
In my life, I’m still on top of that roof.
What I have is this moment. The immediate past is too painful and the future completely unknown. I am not victimizing myself either, I made every decision that lead me up to this point and I am happy to be here.
Another thing I have is my people. I was able to go home to spend the holidays with them in the middle of all this mess and I couldn’t believe their reaction to me. When I felt like my world had completely fallen apart, their collective response was, “You’ve got this. You will be fine, we have confidence in you, you are strong and the world will take care of you ”. They have a confidence in my decisions that I don’t even have in myself. What a gift.
Upon my return to Mexico while trying like crazy to live in the present and not worry about which direction my life would go, I was teaching an acroyoga class and a beautiful Brazilian gal walked in. We hit it off well and as we talked we figured out that she is the best friend of the aerial director of America Latina Cooperativa (Option 3 from the last cartoon)! After hearing my situation, she immediately sent an email to her best friend Julia, the aerial director, and Bam! New collective, new life…
For the next three months, I will be traveling with America Latina Cooperativa (http://www.alcoop.org/?lang= en ), a group of 9 people from Brazil, Costa Rica, Mexico and the US. We are geographers, sociologists, social workers, educators, photographers, filmmakers and artists and here´s the plan:
¨Based on documented research, artistic, educational and audiovisual production activities, we intend to strengthen networking among social movements, to present their work, locate points of influence and action through mapping, with the purpose of consolidating its presence in our America.¨ (thats a pretty big definition so if your interested in more info look at the website mentioned above)
We will be posting video updates along the way so I’ll have lots to share :)
So this cartoon is dedicated to my peoples. Without your confidence in me, I would not have been able to bounce back emotionally to be able to enjoy the moments that the world has put in front of me.
P.S.
Here’s the first video spot :
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Cartoon 16: Holy Shit
Where do I start?
About two months ago, Daniel decided that he would no longer be
traveling with us. He now knows that he wants to dedicate his life to
dance and he felt that he was not able to do that with us. So we were
down to two, my boyfriend Joaquín and I. Then, about a month ago,
Joaquín and I broke up. Our relationship didn't stand up to all of the
intensity and stress of our crazy dream. This cartoon is basically all
of the memories that are swimming around in my mind from the preparation
for the trip and my time traveling with Daniel and Joaquín. And now we
are down to one. Just me. Without any of the plan that I spent the last
two years of my life creating with my partner and his good friend.
Wow. Joaquín proposed that we continue to travel together as friends.
That sounds like emotional hell to me. I will not sacrifice my
emotional well being to be 'comfortable' in an old dream that, for me,
was lost when the love was.
So wow, now I am in the middle of Mexico, in the middle of someone else's dream (my original dream was just to go Brazil and work with the social circus programs there. Then I met Joaquín and he invited me to travel by land with his collective and I said that sounds like a great adventure! Well, I was right).
I do not dream of traveling on my own through Latin America. Many people do, but not me. I wanted and want to have a home base. To work and collaborate and live and learn with others. So I'm thinking of everyone I've met in the last 6 months, who could I travel with?? I've come up with 4 options:
1. A group of 4 awesome Spanish women. I met them in a Theater of the Oppressed workshop just before Joaquín and I broke up. They are super warm and excited to have me and God it would be fabulous to travel with women. The only thing I'm not too excited about is that they are hitch hiking. Hitch hiking is very different here, it's much more accepted and way less dangerous. But still I'm not to excited about the idea...
2. Farandula de la Esperanza: A couple who do social circus and are traveling down in a camper. I have met them at two circus conventions and they do fabulous work. I've sent them an email but haven't heard back yet (http://
3. America Latina Cooperativa: A group who is traveling through Central America doing social circus shows and workshops with the goal of strengthening the network of social organizations throughout Latin America. I met the aerial director at the first circus convention I went to and we got along great. I emailed them as well but they don't seem too interested, we'll see what happens (http://www.alcoop.org/?lang=
4. Alone. My best friend in Mexico City has contacts in pretty much every country throughout Central America. I could ride buses from country to country and meet up with her contacts and then go to social circus organizations upon my arrival in each new city.
So now it's the waiting game. Trying to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest while I send a million emails and try to put a new life together. Did I mention Wow? Life is crazy. I never thought I'd be where I am and in two weeks I have no idea where I will be...
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